ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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