Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
