So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
