the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
