Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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