Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
