Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize