It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
