the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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