dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
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I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
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Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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