i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
