doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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