Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just blew my weed a kiss
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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