I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
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