How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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