I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
