Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
