she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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