You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
