You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize