i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
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It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
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How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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