Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize