I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize