Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
