Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
