I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
