Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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