birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
