Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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