doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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