Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
