I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
