When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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