I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
