Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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