Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you win again, gameday.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law