We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
