One girl and one boy is just not enough.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived