Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
