I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
