And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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