If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
