She said her name was "party"
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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