hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
