worst night to have a conscience
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
