U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
