YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
