worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
everyone is single if you try hard enough
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
