Nicole vs. Life
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
