remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
