Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
