yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
