The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
