I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
