I didn't shave. On purpose
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
