Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
