I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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