but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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