We're facebook friends in real life
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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